Self Confidence for Women
by Jill Wootton
WE WOMEN can gain an insight
into any lack of self confidence by delving into some handy
scientific research. The differences between mens' and
womens' brains show that women are more likely to worry than
How many of you ladies miss out on fun and opportunity
because you are too busy worrying?
For women, lack of self
confidence is built upon worry and procrastination. Women
who tend to ruminate rather that act are less
- feel comfortable in new
- relax when things don��t go to plan
- seize an opportunity as it arises.
If, for women, self
confidence is the ability to:
- face new challenges with
- walk into a room full of people with wet hair and
less-than-perfect make up
- still trust that a smile and a friendly manner will be
what interests and engages others.
Then how can we learn to
override the introspection that says ��Things won��t be ok?��
Women can learn self confidence
Self confidence, contrary to
popular belief, isn��t always bestowed at birth; it can be
Have you ever seen a child
taking their first faltering steps? Despite falling down a
thousand times, within a short space of time they are
walking all over the place, then running, dancing and
jumping. In the same way we can build a set of skills that
enable us to feel better about ourselves.
confidence-destroyers are we women more prone to?
Some nerves are natural for both sexes, a new date or an
important meeting with your boss will often cause a few
feelings of anxiety, the trick is not to waste time
negatively predicting the outcome.
When you think that you don��t look your best, maybe not
had enough time to get ready or having put on a few
pounds, one of those ��honey I look a wreck!�� moments; it
is easy to feel that everything else will go badly as a
result. The sure thing is that if you dwell on that
single thought you are not going to enjoy the event.
How often have you said ��What if she really meant�K?�� ��I
know that Mary has invited us to their party, but I
think she only invited us because she felt she had to?��
Women tend to be more sensitive to others�� needs, and
more aware of changes that might improve a situation or
make it more comfortable for someone. Unchecked however,
this ability to think things over can turn into
over-analysis and make life miserable as this internal
process leads to confusion, anxiety and inaction.
4 Tips To Build Confidence
The ability to relax
When there is an event that naturally brings about a few
butterflies, spend some time thinking about times that
you have done well at something, remember what it is
like to feel good, then take a few moments to imagine
yourself with those feelings in the future.
Notice how your posture, facial gestures and words feel
and sound, and what a difference it makes to the
enjoyment of any event. If it is a meeting or public
performance, remember that preparation and a belief in a
positive outcome are key, even if we can��t exactly
predict the outcome we know that feeling relaxed
releases the thinking part of the brain to get on with
the job in hand to the best of our abilities.
The shower that need
not become a monsoon
Just because one thing isn��t as we would like it, it
doesn��t follow that the rest of the day or evening is
going to be awful. Women who appear confident don��t let
a bad hair day stop them from enjoying life.
Make a list of the qualities that you have and next time
that you tell yourself that you look awful and that the
evening is ruined before it has started, remind yourself
that you can��t see into the future!! And of the other
things that make a good party apart from a perfect hair
do. A recent survey said that people who smile a lot are
rated more attractive than those who don��t.
Women are more likely to read more into facial gestures
and voice intonation, a useful trait but sometimes we
get it wrong. So before the miserable demons of ifs,
whats and maybes get their teeth into your thought
patterns, work on developing the power of optimism the
tool that vanquishes negative rumination and allows the
possibility of fun times.
Action v rumination
I have noticed that one of the key skills of women who
appear confident is the ability to notice that even if
they are feeling a little nervous inside they take their
attention to the world around them.
No longer dwelling on the internal chatter, they can
enjoy the people they are with, they may also notice
that they don��t have the longest legs or are not the
liveliest woman in a room; but that is a fleeting
thought and they carry on engaging and enjoying. Giving
the people around top quality attention�K. showing an
interest makes them feel wonderful! They will remember
it even if you spent a short time with them.
For women, contemplating our
internal ruminations can be a creative process that leads to
beneficial actions, fun times and rewarding relationships.
Taken too far however, it becomes a road to inaction and